LIFE | Is it bad I always forget how tall my fiancé is?

I think it’s safe to say that meeting people from the internet isn’t as taboo of a thing as it once was. Whether it’s meeting via Twitter or Tinder or some silly game called Puzzle Pirates, it’s not uncommon for relationships to form online and carry over into real life.

Of course, the danger with meeting in person after forming a connection online is that the other person may not always be what you think they are. And no, I’m not talking about the dreaded catfish situation. (As far as I know, that hasn’t been a part of my life with people I’ve met in person so far and if it has been, kudos to them because I still haven’t figured it out.)

No, I’m talking about the things your brain assumes about the other person, on its own, that completely throws you off when you meet in person… like a person’s height.

Every time I see Dave I forget he’s not the size of my laptop screen.

Dave, for those of you who don’t know, is my long-distance British fiancé. We met online over five years ago, visited each other a couple of times, solidified our relationship during my time studying abroad and are now in the process of planning our wedding so we can finally have a future together in the same country.

We generally visit each other twice a year (usually alternating between locations) and every. single. time. I am shocked by his height when I see him.

Illustration of a girl being surprised by how tall her boyfriend is when seeing him in person by Asti Stenning

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t actually think he’s going to be the size of my laptop screen prior to meeting. That would be a bit ridiculous (but maybe also a little cute). But something about only ever seeing him sitting down on Skype makes my brain assume that he’s going to be the same height as me. I just don’t get those visual cues of his height.

So when we finally reunite in person and I have to actually arch my head upwards to make eye contact with him, my brain has a mini freak out. And no, it’s not like he’s a giant or something! He’s only five inches taller than me. But it’s still enough for my brain to be like “Whaaaaaaa?”

But hey, I’m thankful the height thing is the only unexpected thing that strikes me when we meet up in person. There could’ve been a lot worse things for him to hide…

Let’s Chat

Now please someone tell me I’m not the only one who has suffered this momentary shock when meeting a person in real life. Even if it is not due to height, there has to be something that has surprised you when meeting someone you know from the internet, right? Please let me know about your experiences in the comment below, I’d love to compare!

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17 thoughts on “LIFE | Is it bad I always forget how tall my fiancé is?

  1. Lol, you are definitely not alone here! It really is hard to tell what people look like/what size they are, especially if you’ve only seen profile pictures and not even Skyped.

    I’m so excited for you. I hope you and Dave have an amazing time and don’t have to spend the whole time doing stressful wedding planning stuff!


    1. Yeah, I’m not quite sure we would’ve gotten to the meet-face-to-face point if we hadn’t Skyped first, so luckily since I was used to that I knew somewhat to expect, but even then things took me by surprise. Those that meet without Skyping or Facetiming first are definitely braver than I. I think I’ve seen too many Catfish episodes to trust just voice or messages these days XP

      And thanks! Dave and I had a lovely time and the wedding stuff we worked on while he was here was fairly stress-free because he’s so supportive and easy-going. As long as I’m happy with he it seems to be as well, so it’s going good 🙂


      1. Someone just recommended Catfish to me! I guess it’s safe to watch, now that I’ve already made my big move. XD

        That sounds great! I’m glad he’s supportive, although I’m not surprised. I’m sure the next few months will fly by!


      2. Wait, you’ve never watched Catfish? Well, I guess that sort of makes sense. I only watched it before because it was on MTV (which is home of some of the crappy reality competition shows I love) and I was intrigued by the trailer. But yes, haha, now that you’ve already made the move it’s probably a bit safer. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I remember this feeling! I think when husband and I finally got to be in the same country on a permanent basis it took about 6 months until the “oh you’re actually 6″4” feeling wore off (I’m 5″3).

    Have an amazing time with Dave!


    1. Haha, six months? I think I can handle that. (Though I will say it wasn’t as much of a shock this last time around as usual. Either the drawing/talking about it helped or maybe it’s starting to wear off already!)

      Thanks Sarah! We had a lovely time while he was here 🙂


    2. PS. Do you have a blog anymore? Clicking on your name just takes me to your twitter and I don’t see a link on your twitter! No worries if not, it’s not like I’ve ever not blogged before ;), but I’m just curious if I’m somehow missing it!


  3. Aww. Yay for you and Dave hanging out soon. I didn’t know how you two met. This story is the cutest. Have a wonderful time together. Also: omg, you are TALL if 6 foot fiance is 5 inches taller than you. I am barely 5 foot.


    1. Are you sure it’s not that I’m tall but maybe you’re a little short? haha. Though I do think that slightly depends on where you live. I’m considered average size over here. I am 5’6″ though so I guess Dave is more like 6 inches taller than me.

      But hey, if you do think I’m tall that must mean Dave is massive. 😉

      And yes, Dave and I met online almost six years ago now! If you ever want to read the full scoop on it, I actually wrote a post about how our relationship began and my first trip over there on my old blog Oh, the Books!: The Dave Story. No worries if not though, I might someday do an illustrated version so you can catch up then. (Maybe in honor of the wedding? That could be fun! :D)


  4. I adore the evolving art style, dear Asti – the art in this post feels very quintessentially you in a way I’m not sure past pieces have been quite able to achieve, & I absolutely adore it. And of course, how wonderful to hear that you’re hanging out with Dave soon! I think it is always a bit of a shock to meet Internet-humans IRL, but once the initial surprise has worn off, it’s always the best thing. Have a lovely time, my friend, & looking forward to seeing you back on the blog soon! xx


    1. Aw, thanks Topaz! I do think that is the weird thing about finding your feet in the creative field. Balancing trying to do what you like based on your many inspirations while at the same time finding a place that’s absolutely you. I mean, I feel the same with your writing. Anytime I read your blog it feels very you and unlike anything else I read. Do you ever feel like you have to work towards that (or have had to in the past) or is that just something that has naturally happened the more you’ve done it? Because even though they’re different mediums, I do think creative fields overlap in many ways!

      Thanks for your kind words! And yes, I’m glad I never have let fear/shock stop me from going through with building relationships with online friends IRL. There might be differences but usually the essence of the person is still the same (well, unless you get catfished I guess!). Makes it all worth it 🙂


  5. I hope your time with Dave goes awesome! And I think people probably get that reaction with me, since I’m the tall one in the Philippines. I’ve gotten that reaction before, and it was always weird to me, because i never really imagine how tall other people would be. I also never call people, though, so that might contribute to it


    1. Haha, yeah, I guess if you go into it without preexisting thoughts on a person’s appearance you’re a bit more open to whatever comes your way. I guess since I was just so used to seeing Dave on Skype I had assumed I knew everything but nope, his height still hadn’t been communicated. I’m a bit better with it now though. 😛

      How tall are you? Tbh, since we’ve never chatted, I’ve never thought about your height. What’s considered tall in the Philippines?

      And thanks! Dave’s visit was awesome indeed (though, as always, way too short)! 🙂


  6. Believe me, you’re not the only one who has this issue with height. I had been talking to a friend online for years, and when we met I just didn’t believe it was her. Because first of all, she’s 6’1 and she definitely wasn’t that tall on skype. Bearing in mind I’m only 5’4. It was a little bit of a shock, (and a stretch when I went to hug her) to say the least. I hope you had fun with Dave, and got lots of wedding planning done! 🙂


    1. Haha, I’m glad I’m not alone! And yessss to them never being that tall on Skype! There needs to be some height meter or something in the corner to aide us in our height awareness quest. 5’4″ to 6’1″ is definitely a bit of a difference – I’m glad you didn’t let that stop you from still getting a hug 🙂

      And yes, thanks, Dave and I had lots of fun and were quite productive wedding wise. Only 3 months to go until he’s back again and we put all that wedding planning into action – eek! 😀


  7. Aww this is so cute! I hope you guys had an amazing two weeks together!

    I definitely understand about your brain making things up about someone you’ve met online/through an app or have just seen through photos etc. I love that you guys met online and fell in love etc! My brother actually met his girlfriend online too. It’s so common these days.

    I’m really bad at meeting people online/dating apps and it actually working. For me though it’s more of a chemistry thing. You know how when you meet someone for the first time you just know that there’s something there? A spark, a connection, your stomach flips? I don’t know what it is but it’s something. For me I usually have great chat online but then when I meet the person (so far), they’re still the same as what I expected (mostly) but that chemistry isn’t there. I just haven’t had any luck with meeting people online! I’m better at meeting them in person and figuring out that the spark is there.

    It’s such an interesting thing to realise!

    Jordon @ Simply Adrift


    1. Thanks Jordon! We definitely did have an amazing two weeks together. It always goes by so fast but we make the most of it. (And there’s only three months until he’s back for the wedding so excitement all around!)

      It is funny how common meeting others online is now a days. I used to be somewhat hesitant when describing Dave’s and I’s relationship to others back in the days. I would say we met online (because obviously him living in London meant I didn’t bump into him on the street), but I would never really say more than that. Now I have no problem telling people it happened through a silly little game because hey, it happens!

      That’s really interesting about the chemistry thing. I don’t think I have that when it comes to relationships. Is that a bad thing? Eek. I have always tended (and this will probably sound bad, but it’s true) to see relationships as a goal. Like, if I knew I liked a guy and wanted to be with him, it would become my goal to make it happen and that was that. So when I went to meet Dave I can’t say my stomach flipped (apart from the anxiety of AHHH I JUST FLEW FOR THE FIRST TIME ON A PLANE TO MEET A GUY ACROSS AN OCEAN I MET ONLINE), but I did have a lot of nervous excitement because I was making my goal happen. (Poor Dave, this makes him sound like some sort of prize or possession to be had.) That being said, once the goal was achieved, the love and excitement never wore off. I largely contribute that to the partnership aspect of our relationship though – I still go for my goals (well, not the whole finding new guys to love one haha), but with him supporting me on from the side.

      I don’t even know if that really makes sense or connects fully to your comment but that’s where my mind took me so… sorry? haha. But yeah. Dave hasn’t ever been quite the suave stud to make my heart stutter. Even on the car ride home from picking me up from the airport that first time, he threw up in a bush, lol.


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