Alright boys and girls, gather around. Today I’m going to talk about that time when my future mother-in-law stole my toothbrush and used it to clean the bird cage. (Yup, that definitely happened.)
It all took place during my last visit to London. As I have lived with Dave’s family in the past, I am always quick to make myself at home once I arrive. I put my toiletries in their bathroom, unpack all my belongings in Dave’s bedroom and slip into my pajamas as I can’t be bothered to stay dressed when just hanging out around the house.
That went fine, as did everything else, for about one week. And then… my toothbrush went missing.
Do you know how confusing it is to be confident in the location of your belongings but for them to not actually be there? Like, since when do your things just get up and walk the heck away? I know my dental hygiene has had its moments in the past (damn irresponsible younger self), but I swear I’m on top of it these days so there is no real reason for my toothbrush to just bail on me like that.
So after checking, and double checking and triple checking that my toothbrush wasn’t in any logical place where it should be, I yelled at Dave to find out what the heck was going on.
Of course, he had no clue what happened to my toothbrush. He asked me what it looked like, checked the toothbrush holder one more time (because obviously my glasses show that I am a blind fool that requires double-checking) and then went to ask his family if they had seen it.
And what do you know, his mother had. Because it was in her hands. And she was using it. To scrub bird shit. Off the bird-cage.
Wow, thanks mother-in-law.
Of course she apologized once she realized her mistake and assured me it was an accident. She tried to explain to me her deductive reasoning involving its color, size and similar nonsense that led to her decision that my toothbrush was the unused one that was up for the job of cleaning the bird-cage, but I honestly couldn’t tell you how it all worked out.
I was more just shocked that she didn’t think to ask which toothbrush was mine since she knew I wasn’t visiting? Ah well.
Luckily there was another unused packaged toothbrush in their bathroom cupboard so I was still able to brush my teeth the rest of that trip, but boy did I learn a few lessons from that experience:
- Don’t get too comfortable in other people’s homes. It may backfire. In a very unpleasant way.
- Maybe Dave’s mom doesn’t love me as much as she claims.
- The toothbrushes I like to use are great for cleaning shitty bird cages.
Alright, does anyone have any sort of similar experience they want to share to make me feel better about my life? Something where a family member has stolen something, whether intentional or not, and used it for less-than-lovely purposes? I’d love to hear your stories (or pity) in the comments below!